English Adult SMS

At this moment
5 million are having sex
2 million are in gun fights
91milliom at a party and
one sad fucker is reading this SMS

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Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?
A pink rose with loveley details.
And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?

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Today,
in style are small cars,
watches, skirts and mobile-phones...
It will come the time when
SMALL PENIS will be in style, and
then you will be the man!!!

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Penis & Balls arguing.
Balls: Hey, U r very unfair!
Everytime u go in u never bring us along,
only u enjoy!
Penis: Eh, U think its fun?
I always keep vomiting!

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He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!

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23 useless parts on a mans body.
20 nails u cant hammer.
2 balls u cant throw &
1 cock that cant "crow" dont laff ladies??
UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE

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Degrees of girls:
BA:Beautiful Ass
LLB:Lovely Lickable Breasts
BSc:Beautiful Sexy Cunt.
MBBS:Member of Big Boobs Soiety.
MBA:Married But Available.....

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Love is not measured by hugging,
kissing & sex,
love is respect and trust,
accepting person with open legs and closed eyes,
wet lips saying "push it more.."

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Sex is like pizza.
When its good,
its VERY GOOD.
When its bad,
its Still pretty good

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Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

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He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left, i was hurt,
.
.
.
BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!

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Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

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It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.

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2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”

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Ques : What is confidence?
.
..
Answer : I tell u, Once ten boys decided to propose a girl.
9 boys came with rose &
1 boy came wd condom! That is confidence..

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Sharma ji used to fuck mrs Sharma using milk as lubricant.
Later she was rushed to hospital,
when the Doctor came out of OT said,
no baby or baba, just 1kg MAWA.

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Newtons sex laws-
1 A hole always attracts a pole.
2 Length of pole is equal 2 depth of hole.
3 Up & down motion, releases lotion,
wich increases population.

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Newtons sex laws-
1 A hole always attracts a pole.
2 Length of pole is equal 2 depth of hole.
3 Up & down motion, releases lotion,
wich increases population.

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Lady to shopkeeper-Which shampoo should I have ?

Shopkeeper-If you want for your head,
take Head & Shoulder,
But if u want for hair in the panty,
Take panteen

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When you love someone truly,
you don`t look for faults,
you don`t look for answers,
you don`t look for mistakes.
Instead, you fight the mistakes,
you accept the faults and overlook the excuses.

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